Out With The Old, In With The New

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It seems to be a prevalent and somewhat self-indulgent practice amongst bloggers to reflect on the passing year. It’s also a candid way of admitting one’s failures and victories without dragging in personal criticism which usually is the cause of all our emotional breakdowns, or simply put, making a mountain out of a molehill over trivial circumstances.

It’s not an easy task to wrap 365 days into a 500-word blog post without running the risk of sounding vague or mainstream, but I can’t think of a better way to cement 2017 in my memory. Human memory is so feeble, no wonder time flies, some memories just get lost in the sea of information.

I’m still single and haven’t seen about 80% of shows on Netflix.

I didn’t waste time planning my NYE party this year either. Somehow the idea of spending a night watching my favorite childhood musical shows on youtube, munching on caviar and sipping bubbly while toasting to each timezone hitting 2018, and going to bed just after 12, realizing that I’ve just aged one more year, is precisely what I need after a long year.

I don’t know about you, but 2017 was a contrasting year. Drawing from my resolution making experience over the past five years, I remained exactly where I have been. I haven’t lost weight, moved to Paris, or become a published author. I’m still single and haven’t seen about 80% of shows on Netflix. Yet I turned 30, got promoted, got a new citizenship, learned to ski, made some money from writing, fell in love (then got dumped) and acquired some priceless life experience, which can only be done when things aren’t going your way. None of these were in my plans, but neither was the passing of my beloved grandmother, which was the low point of 2017.

Over this year I’ve documented events which were somehow more significant than others, however, I left out the most critical moments, despite being rather vocal about my private life before. I’ve never written about how I spent an entire summer depressed over a guy I was madly in love for a month, about an affair I had with a married man, or how I got so desperate, I turned to Bubmbe where I discovered British men don’t like eastern-European women that much. No. Against the popular belief, I’m not getting any action in 2017.

Despite the pitfalls, there were many positive moments and encounters in 2017. Some of them I’ve written about, others are yet to be immortalized in the cyber pages or WordPress. As for my readers, I would like to wish you optimism and patience because good things happen all the time, we just need to sit tight until they happen to us. Tonight, as the Big Ben hits midnight, I will raise a glass of bubbles to a happier year. Lots of love! Happy New Year!

 

 

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Out With The Old, In With The New

Why Are You Still Single?

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It must be me. It was always me, I am needy, clingy, I have daddy issues, and I want to be literally handcuffed to the other person all the time. I know. That’s why I am single, that’s why men leg it so fast, they leave skid marks on the pavement and that’s the price every woman must pay in order to keep her marbles together in London. In the past month I was asked in total  of three times, the same age old question – Why are you still single? and again and again I find myself making up reasons why I haven’t got that special one (as opposed to other ‘normal’ people). It’s a short leap from mental illness and unlike in medicine there is no pill from singleness, there isn’t a pill which would whisk all your flaws,  they won’t prescribe you lobotomy and especially, they won’t hypnotise another person to love you.

There could be an algorithm to happiness, which is called online dating, but then can it calculate the divorce rate? Here’s the perfect match for you, you have 99% matches in music wine preferences, travels and books, however we strategically chose to not include points for neurosis, seasonal depression, bipolar tendencies, AADD, pathological lies, infidelity, fetiches and god knows what else that may come with the  package. I have always believed the universe prepared a surprise for me in a form of digital prince charming until he failed to turn up to the date. That was a sign impossible to ignore.

People ask me, are my standards too high? Well, define standards. Surely nobody starts a relationship with an attitude: she/he is a 6 after 5 beers. Of course, there is certain expectation in the significant other, unless you have no expectations of yourself and you will go down with pretty much anything anyone throws your way. Is fitness, intelligence, income, and good looks classify as unattainable standards? Is attentiveness, generosity, honesty and respect a high standard? We set standards according to our own, so shouldn’t people be asking me instead if I have such high standards for myself? Live a bit, stop learning that fourth language,  cancel your gym membership, take a pay cut, get fat. Can I have a relationship now? Probably not because numbers game is not an answer when searching for ‘the one’.

Is it me? Probably. Is that a problem? Probably not. Am I happy? Definitely yes. Thank you, stop asking why I am single.

 

Why Are You Still Single?