Are We Bulls**t Shoppers Or Just Optimists

tumblr Dating in London is never dull, even if you don’t get any dates, time to time you get the reality confirmation that being single isn’t actually so bad. Being single is always going on a date with destiny. You never know who, where or when falls into your lap and give you a minute thrill, or at least a promise of the possibility of potential happy ending. Unfortunately, being single in London has its down sides too. Sometimes, instead of being all-you-can-eat buffet, it turned into a fast food joint where you take a bite and spit it out without chewing. It has zero value and zero satisfaction. It’s official – dating in London is now box ticking exercise.

Dating scene in big city is not for sensitive souls. It’s brutal and unpredictable. It doesn’t follow any common sense or logic. In the absence of sound advice, sometimes I resort to the only thing I do best – generalisations: everyone is taken. Playing the game turned into full on battle, and I found myself right in the middle of it without any clue. What I grew to understand is that romance does not sustain itself. Unless you feed it with hope and idealism, it will slowly turn into cynicism and bitterness. It’s easy to swear of men and engage to yourself over a bottle of wine, but it takes optimism to shake off yet another dating disaster without effectively doubling in size. Lot’s and lot’s of it.

How do you stay positive? Do you play numbers game searching for the one, or the one next to him/her? Or do you patiently sit and wait hoping for the best? Neither is the right way. Women’s and Men’s magazines are bursting with pop-scientist and pseudo – intellectuals giving advice on how to find and sustain successful relationships, but that means fuck all if we have no self-respect, or confidence or integrity. People don’t approach love by cold calculations and detailed plan of seduction – if only in bad fiction and seduction seminars. Embracing my inner coach I would only say one thing – to have optimism is to have confidence about the future or the success of something. If going on dates raises your confidence about finding a right partner, then it’s the only way to go. Dating out of fear of ending up forever alone can dart you right into the arms of bullshit sellers, effectively have your heart broken and a casual STI. Not a great idea. And by dating I don’t mean going on dates with only one goal of getting laid.

Regardless, for majority people in London getting a date isn’t difficult, majority but me. I’m not online dating and I rarely go out, but even when I do, meeting a worthy candidate becomes a sales skills building exercise: appear too desperate and you’ll end up with a sausage roll, play hard to get – you could end up hungry. If you play the whole program right, you could end up with a phone number. I would jump the gun and mention the actually date, but this is another level of sales negotiations supported solely on a question – What’s in it for me? Last weekend I got to thinking. We play games with each other because it’s fun. If you actually forget your ticking time bomb and go out on a limb to a bar on Saturday night, you could actually have lot’s of fun. So last week I did just that (not that I actually apply “ticking time bomb” to myself) and met a guy who relentlessly tried to get my number for about an hour, must say he did intrigue me a little bit, but sometimes you get that gut feeling they are in it for all the wrong reasons. Despite long negotiations about nothing between me and him, my friend (with sort of my approval) gave the guy my number.

Cutting long story short, I never heard from him. I was dumb folded. First thought – why bother in a first place? Second thought was – I’ll write a blog about it. Whatever the reason for not getting in touch was, I derived an invaluable lesson (like you always must do) – count your losses and move on. Of course, I don’t exclude some preposterous circumstance like a stolen phone by a gang of savage raccoon,  but realistically, in this scenario i’ll just adopt an idea he was married. From my personal experience, finding anything worthwhile on Saturday night in town has a chance 1/10 , finding yet another bullshit seller is guaranteed. I don’t believe in virtues, but whatever happened to sincerity and integrity? Am I in the wrong of being optimist that may be, just may be, one of these midnight rendez-vous would end up with at least a date?

Two words come to mind: Cruel Intentions. Seducers are rainbow sellers – victims are bullshit buyers, or may be they are just optimists who sometimes get a bad nut. Love them of hate them, can’t live without them. p.s. I did get a text message with an excuse he was busy – a week later which is as good as never.

Are We Bulls**t Shoppers Or Just Optimists

The Things We Have to Put Up With For the Ambience

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Not going to lie, I was always secretly envious of hipster life style. Creatives in London aren’t penniless artists living in the attic with no hot water or heating. Many so called freelance artists are actually doing much better than me on my 9 to 5. They are the breed of adults who represent everything we can’t have, this way pushing us into the abyss of perpetual bitterness about everything they do: wearing overpriced clothes by some unknown designer, living in fancy East London apartments, attend cool invite-only exclusive parties, have great taste and most important – freedom. Despite constantly living a risk of going through the dry spell of no work, they still wear the badge saying “I have a fabulous life-style” which majority of us don’t .

Ok, so may be they don’t have to work in the office, but that doesn’t mean they never work. In fact, lots of them spend sleepless nights polishing an artwork, getting professional traumas from holding a pen for too long or developing substance abuse problems. The difference – they have a choice of not working in the office. How many times have you walked past Starbucks and smirked at a bearded hipster staring at his Macbook screen as if they were looking at the sunset in the Great Canyon? Q “How did hipster burn his tongue?” A “He sipped his coffee before it was cool”.

Working in cafes has been a thing of every great writer of the 20th century. Hemingway, Scott Fitzgerald, Sartre and many other great authors of the last century were spending most of their working hours in Paris Cafes. They were probably smirked at just as much. There’s no easy way to remain uncriticised in the world where people are selling their time for money, as opposed to selling their skill. Since we settled the fact that it’s essential for the writer to have a space for creativity, we can move on to my part time office in Islington.

London is know for overly polite customer service. I mean whoever ever visited Britain, politeness is the key to successful communication. Although saying “sorry” when being stepped on is not unusual, British people love to maintain an aura of a true gentleman of people because if we don’t – we’d be Paris. Speaking of which, customer service in France is slightly less tolerant and I actually don’t mind it when I’m in Paris. Rude service in London is less common but it happens and when it does, we shake our heads in disapproval at the audacity of guy or girl who has just spilled a drop of your £20 bottle of wine and didn’t spend last 20 minutes apologising about it or offering you a drink voucher.

Finding a right ambience for writing in London isn’t easy, especially on the weekend. If you are lucky enough to find a cafe which isn’t crowded with push chairs, does not hold  exorcism sessions,  and which is open till at least 9pm, consider yourself a lucky guy or gal. So I did find one cafe called Emporium –  a simplistic cafe/ bakery which offers overpriced coffee and delicious apple pies, as well as good music and comfortable amount of lighting. Speaking of anal habits… It would be perfect if not for the slightly less perfect treatment from the male staff. From my own experience of working in customer service, I am well aware that smiling and being polite, when it’s not your natural state, can be a real pain in the arse, especially if you have been out the night before. It is also impossible to make somebody feel good, when, just like me, you have not control of your facial expression.

This place has forgotten my orders, openly ignored me while checking their phones,  all of the above was also greeted with an attitude as I attempted to show my dissatisfaction. I know that complaining is not going to make a difference, plus it’s not a life or death situation. At the end of the day we all have bad days and unfortunately for me, there are few individuals who seem to be falling in a bad mood every time they see me. May be it’s my face. I know it’s my face. The question is, why do I keep on coming back? Like in a bad romance, we stick around for two reasons – because it was good once and you believe it will get better. Going through the effort of looking for another cafe, which ticks almost all boxes,will take time and effort, which I rarely have. So as a desperate woman in a bad relationship, I keep on coming back more. All’s fair in love and writing as I say. For the time being I get the job done and just today I was given a free coffee from the server who frankly looked like he’d rather be responding to that text on Tinder than actually speaking to me, but it’s ok. We’ve all been there. Just keep that coffee coming mate.

The Things We Have to Put Up With For the Ambience

We Are Many

Few days ago I went to the film screening called We Are Many  which was written and directed by Amir Amirani. It is the story of the biggest demonstration in human history, which took place on 15th February 2003, against the impending war on Iraq. One word – Powerful.

Being a bit of a documentary geek I know that not all documentaries can deliver an objective content when it comes to political investigation. Usually the director takes one side and tells a story why this side is more right that the other. In this case We Are Many is no different to any other political documentary except for it takes side of people.

On 15th February 2003 I was merely a school girl living in Lithuania, having little interest of what’s happening in the world. If I looked back in my diary, I’d know that I just turned 16 and I was probably upset about not having a date on the Valentines day. Simple life, ignorance is a bliss when you are 16. I wouldn’t have known of the grand events happening around the world. And it’s a shame.

We Are Many proved to be a documentary which tells a story of two powers – United States and people. It takes us on a journey which doesn’t have a good ending, only damage done and lessons learned. It has a clear point that decision of going to war with Iraq was a grave mistake which costs hundred of thousands of lives and future for those who survived. However the damage, as painful as it already is, is much greater as it triggered something as sinister, something what is now know as ISIS. And nobody had really anticipated that. This film was a proof that US people have elected a villain in a fairy tale called American Dream. 

This documentary has also sadly shown that when we have someone in power who is not succumbed to public opinion, this is where real disaster waiting to happen. What happened on February 15, 2003 was an unfortunate example of how little power public has over the decision of the top authority figure. And this is all happening in the age of so called democracy – a word used so widely it lost it’s significance and original meaning.

We are many not only explains why US manoeuvre was devastating, it touches up on organisations like UN. When Kofi Annan reluctantly admitted ex post facto that the invasion into Iraq was illegal, what is your first thought? All cats look the same in the dark? Truly thought provoking. We now have a chance to look at it as a movie with not so happy ending. We had the power of peace and the power of war. Peoples voice was ignored and it’s alarming.

Film itself also evokes strong emotion when you see millions of people marching for peace. We may say that our society is degrading and we are moving towards an inevitable end, however if there is one force stronger than anything in the world – it is the force of human collective consciousness. It might appear that thousands of years of warfare have not taught us anything, but it’s just a cynical opinion you will find in the media  expressed by individuals who are getting paid to spread the doom and gloom. You and I know that.

if there is one force stronger than anything in the world – it is the force of human collective consciousness

Watching We Are Many brought tears to my eyes because it shows that regardless of how much suffering happens on this planet, majority of us have hope and enough light to light up the darkest times in history. Never forget that.

We Are Many

The Value Of Nothing

Some quotes are just as relevant today as they were over a century ago. It’s no secret that Oscar Wilde was indeed an epic human being and his fate was just another proof that society will forsake the great talent for a religious dogma. He was born ahead of his time and if you asked me who’s the person I’d like to hang out with the most, it would probably be Oscar Wilde, just because he can define a generation in one sentence, and he’ll be spot on for the next hundred years.

The reason why this has come to mind today, is the sale of the Picasso painting at the auction for £115 million just in 11 minutes. It’s official now the most expensive piece of art sold at the auction in a record time. Now make no mistake, I appreciate great money. I am not great with it and up until now I my financial skills were the equivalent of a toddler running with scissors, however I have a strong believe that having a solid financial platform is by far the one of the most essential things in life and one should never neglect their financial wellbeing. I also appreciate great art – from a great distance.

I always get funny when it comes to people spending grand amount of cash on things that are seemingly not worth it. Like this painting for example. But you’ll say “who is she to judge?” and you’ll be right. There are people called “experts” who are getting paid to say things like: his is a fine painting, by a great artist, produced at an important time in his career.” I studied design at the university and over three years of studying art mechanics I complete lost the sight of art soul which is what art is really about. With my non-expert eye, as a work of art in terms of materials used and execution, it’s probably not worth that much, but wait till we add the value.

Value is purely subjective notion, it’s an internal state of mind, it’s our set of rules, it’s our loses and victories which define the value. We pay for the stuff what we believe is a fair trade – value for money all the way. Take the designer bag for example – the cost of making a bag is relatively tiny comparing to it’s face value in the store. When you add name, prestige, status, exclusivity and, as a result, creating scarcity, its price soars way beyond any rationalisation. Did Picasso placed such value upon his painting? We’ll never know, we can only guess. What’s the value of inspiration and imagination? What’s the value of sleepless nights, self doubt, what’s the value of hope and fear that this painting might turn up be a failure? What’s the value of genius?

The intimidating truth is that £115 million in reality could probably restore an entire Kathmandu after its devastating earthquake. Would this be value for money buy? At the times of the adversity, especially in the countries stricken by natural disasters, we underestimate the scale of loss that we have experienced. It’s not only tangible things that we can measure, such as destroyed temples and buildings, it’s the loss of human life and possible the future for those who have survived. What’s the value of life or the opportunity to be happy?

If you had a chance, what would you choose?

The Value Of Nothing

The Time When Election Fever Hijacked My Brain

As the election fever has subsided and the majority of raging lunatics went back to their luxurious dens to perfect their master plans, the rest of the country is left with the aftertaste accentuated with drizzle of panic and pre-apocalyptic anticipation. I would like to proudly declare – I have nothing to do with it. Mainly for being a EU citizen – I couldn’t . So imagine after getting all worked up after my last episode of political street shaming, I was informed by my fellow non uk resident of London, that despite all my hard earned and donated tax money, I still have no word in deciding whether I am getting kicked out or not. Caught up with the agenda, thank you very much. Without much hesitation I happily proceeded with my life and marched to a patisserie for a cup of cappuccino and the best darn £3 slice of apple tart I had in my life.

Acknowledging that right now I am having a much better time than Ed Milliband, I faced an ultimate question – am I a hypocrite? Just few weeks ago I sworn not to ever speak of politics in public, today I am literally restraining myself from posting a political meme on social media and adding some sort of clever pun to display my political erudition – ultimately failing miserably at both as only a month ago I couldn’t give two fingers about who’s promising what. Promising is the operative word here. Probably I am, or perhaps I enjoy a small politics chat – it’s harmless and I’m taking part in something worthwhile – group whining. Despair bring people together, we love finding a common ground to bitch about things we hate, it inspires our creativity and makes us feel like for once, we really mean it.

While I am safe here for another five years, I can proceed with my normal life of being politically ignorant, and this time no cute guy will make me question my integrity as a law abiding resident on London town. Having said that, why did I assume having any knowledge or interest in politics is ever sexy?

Women in power are honestly having a bad rep, especially if you live in United States. While Michelle Obama is perfectly fine performing yoga moves on national television, Hillary Clinton is being dissed for her choices in fashion. I’m not even touching on Sara Palin although it’s asking for it. Back to the continent, remember that infamous scandal which broke out when notorious David Cameron has suggested his “dear” female MP to “calm down”? Except for that little hiccup, UK could be seen as rather utilitarian in their views, having in mind that the country has been under a watchful eye of the Queen for centuries. Iron Lady name alone tells a lot about the woman in power. And of course, Angela Merkel could be seen as a dark horse of the European union, however it didn’t stop her being photoshopped out of the picture for JE SUIS Charlie march. Clearly, having a political opinion doesn’t always guarantee you respect, however it could sort of land you a compliment – depends which way you look at it.

Allegedly, this is what has been said about this young lady:

‘You’re too pretty to be interested in politics and should be in Girls Aloud’: What Labour councillor Karen Danczuk says Harriet Harman told her. It’s not shocking men can say that, it’s shocking these men sit in the parliament.

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Evidently, here’s what Aussie lonely boys find attractive in their fist ladies.

WOMEN’S INTERESTS THAT ARE MOST ATTRACTIVE TO MEN

  1. Personal growth
  2. Health/exercise
  3. Food
  4. Family
  5. Dancing
  6. Art
  7. Photography
  8. Friends
  9. Outdoor interests
  10. Work/career

You won’t find any politics there. Although it’s debatable. We could imply that Personal Growth stands for spending all morning reading political section in the newspaper, although, on the second thought, it would be pretty darn difficult to mindfully shift the conversation from Conservatives to conserving fruit. Let’s just get over the fact that being a political erudite will not get you laid in Australia.

Wait a second! This can’t be right.

As I was digging deeper for evidence to support my, fist of all, politically incorrect assumption, verging on gigantic false and probably insulting generalization, I opened either the pandora box or found the holy grail, can’t quite decide.  Apparently, women being less interested in politics than men, is a thing on the Internet and men are generally bothered by this. According to writer for Huffington post, quote:

This will not do, ladies. Politics is important, no matter your gender. You need to do better.

Well thanks there mate for pointing that out, perhaps now I know why I am still single. I should feel profoundly ashamed for not paying enough attention to politics. This tsk-tsk moment was a deja vu, all over again. Thankfully, this time I did not have to stand through the 5 seconds of theatrical eye rolling. Cheers to that. All of a sudden I had a burning desire to hear what Russell Brand has to say about this, probably lots, a lot more than that one time when he was married to Katy Perry, and even the time when he felt the need to tell press she was bad in bed. But who cares now anyway. Elections are over. I can now go back to my simple life of simple pleasures. Let the men now do what men do best….

Drama and cynicism aside, let’s just agree that all of us have different goals and ambitions in life. Historically and evolutionary it happened that men are more drawn to power and politics, while women are more drawn to beauty and family. You can disagree with me. I do not support political apathy, especially when your future and the future of your children depends on who is getting elected, but in the recent history, track record hasn’t been especially satisfying. Over the course of the past month I learned that casting a vote is important, however in my position, my vote is irrelevant. Plus, who needs a debate when public have pretty much made up their minds about either of the parties?

11238972_2189073994473112_2344641224166704452_n Have a great weekend x

The Time When Election Fever Hijacked My Brain