The Gift Of Time

Every year, starting with the new years resolutions that last precisely until the pay day at the end of January, the whole northern hemisphere is waiting in anticipation the glorious 3 months of summer. People like to set mental deadlines for themselves and the major deadline starts on the 22nd of June with a greeting of calendar beginning of the summer. Not only summer is beaming with prospects of countless music festivals, BBQ and return of the smokers garden, but it could also mean finding that one missing link that will make your life complete – a new relationship, new job offer, new adventure or something as simple as better tan. It’s a fact. Everything seems better in summer. Then, we set another milestone for ourselves called Autumn. You tell yourself you won’t go out so much, you quit smoking in Stoptober, you’ll go the month without a drink, and eventually you’ll grow a moustache in November. Next thing you know it’s Christmas and that’s the way this wheel keeps on turning. However despite not being able to freeze the time, I drew a mental line at summer, and here’s why.

The funeral of summer to me starts with the first day of September. The reason for that would be simply because for the 12 years of my life, 1st of September signified the begging of the school year slash the end of freedom. Having in mind that it’s been almost ten years since I graduated from my high school, I feel the urge to celebrate this day every year with nostalgia towards the time when life was a lot simpler and dreams were still going strong. Although, thinking back, I hardly remember having any realistic dreams apart from being famous fashion designer or performer. Yet perhaps it was blessing in disguise because I had a fair chance to mold my life into whatever I wanted it to be without a risk of disappointing myself for not fulfilling my own expectations. Self nagging can be rather annoying sometime. Especially when you aren’t 100% sure who is this nagging voice inside your head! Regardless of what sentiment September brings, to me, this year, the month of September became the month to reflect rather than act. If not now, then I am afraid I’ll fast forward through something very important. How often can you take a gift of time? Put your life on hold, take two steps back and look at how far you’ve made it? What have you learned, what have you lost and found?

Imagine that moment you were born you jumped of the cliff. You can only fall down for a 100 years more or less, and the moment when you touch the ground, will also be the moment you die. Then why are we is such a hurry to fall faster or farther? Why not to take a breather and experience the bliss of a free fall?

Summer  2014 proved to be a cruel summer for many people including those who lived and those who passed. I was personally touched by a loss of a friend and I could not be more sure that sometimes,  the most wonderful time of the year , can also be the loneliest and the saddest time of the year. They call it “broken promise effect” when one is experiencing crushing disappointment of unfulfilled hopes that spring and summer fails to bring to the sufferer. True that we all have certain dreams associated with the velvet pleasure of summer afternoon sun, whether this is in a circle of friends, or in the company of your beloved, or simply enjoying the sweetness of chilled sauvignon blanc in the beach cafe while gazing at the horizon, listening to waves crashing at the shore, washing footsteps away. But what happens when the anticipated promised fun never ceased to appear? What if that trip never happens or that you didn’t meet that special somebody who will share those magical moments with you while kissing passionately on the London Bridge? Those little things that seem to make our life magical and worth living sometimes,for some unexplained reasons, don’t happen and does it really matter? Not if you don’t stop and ask yourself what could you have done differently, what did you need to do in order to make those things happen?

It’s impossible to experience on this melancholic summertime sadness without making a poetic interpretation of human experience and sometimes all so tragic human condition. This summer has been a summer of great changes, great losses, great hopes and great disappointments, as well as great lessons and great milestones. And I only know it because at some point I chose to press pause, get a cup of tea and relax. This may not be analogy applicable to everyone, but I’ll include it anyway. One wise man put life it this way: Imagine that moment you were born you jumped of the cliff. You can only fall down for a 100 years more or less, and the moment when you touch the ground, will also be the moment you die. Then why are we is such a hurry to fall faster or farther? Why not to take a breather and experience the bliss of a free fall?

 

 

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The Gift Of Time

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