It was one of those nights when due to any possible unforeseen circumstance I am not sleeping. Mostly for two reasons – first and the most important is pesky dry cough that seems to be ruling my life and possibly everyone else’s living in the same flat (and a lesbian couple in the flat next door) and the second is possibly full moon that’s been having a strange effect on me since I was a little girl. In order to get through the night and not create a sleepless night for my flatmates, I made a decision to move into the kitchen with a massive cup of peppermint tea that appears to be the only cure to my cough.
It’s not the first sleepless night I’ve had this week. Few days ago I learned that a very dear man in my life had passed away under tragic circumstances that prompt me to write a blog entry on death which was a little less that I wanted to say and a little more that people would like to know. Since it’s 3 am, it’s full moon outside and I think my abdominals are more defined from coughing for the past 3 hours, I am submerging in a rather mystical mood and this is a totally new thing to me.
“When he shall die,
Take him and cut him out in little stars,
And he will make the face of heaven so fine
That all the world will be in love with night
And pay no worship to the garish sun.”
― William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet
What happens after we die? Nobody really knows. There are numerous legends about what happens to the soul once it leaves the body. You go to heaven or hell. You may reincarnate into another living being. Or may be, as I mentioned in my previous post, you wake up from the dream and continue your existence on a new dimension? All of this thinking is a true brain wreck. Most spiritual teachers would tell you your soul becomes a part of the whole or the divine source and in the quote above my dear William is implying exactly that and this is why I love this quote so much.
Romeo is now shinning the light on his Juliet at night and day, even when she can’t see him. Romeo will be in the raindrops landing on a leaf so when she wants to kiss him, she can gently place her lips upon it to feel his wet lips against hers. And when she will be rolling on the grass, she will feel his gentle touch against her skin. All of the sudden death is no longer tragic. It creates a new meaning for loss and grief that we experience after losing someone close to us.
The beauty of such thinking isn’t form of denial, quite the opposite, it’s a form of acceptance of the fact that we come and go as naturally as sun raises in the morning and dusks in the evening. Hardly anyone chooses when they must leave this existence, yet tragedy truly lies in suicide. Hardly a favourable choice but still a choice which chills me to the bone and it’s not because it makes me face my own temporality as a human being, but the thought process that happened in the head of the deceased. Not that I am totally unfamiliar with the intention, but there is certain power in these four simple words –this too shall pass. That no matter how dark is the night, sun will always rise and this too shall pass. And the thing after this.
In the loving memory of Neil.
A beautiful man who lived so briefly yet shone so brightly.
I will never forget you.