I’m fine thanks

I was struggling with reading people’s emotions since I moved to London. People here are normal. They don’t complain, they keep they faces straight, they are unusually polite and they aren’t easily impressed. People in London love fair play, in everything. In love, at work, in the pub or conflict. However I am always left baffled when I talk to someone and when I turn away, I still have no clue whether they love me or loathe me.

It’s very numbing.

Emotionality is a trait predominantly prescribed to women. But emotionality in this country doesn’t convey a very positive meaning. It’s inability to contain one’s emotion especially in public and making everybody around feel awkward. Sorry about that. I did not mean to make everyone uncomfortable to be in the presence of my feelings. Except that you can’t even know if you made anyone uncomfortable. You only assume you do or read their body language. You can’t know because you rarely get any feedback. That’s not fair at all.

“I’m fine thanks” is a necessary evil. I never fully understood the purpose of this harmless phrase from the first glance. But if you really dig deeper into it’s importance, it’s the best way of warding people off. Everybody does it. But why lie? Can something like “been better thanks” or  “it’s been a difficult day thanks” do the job without attracting any confusion from the person inquiring in the first place?

People do get bad days. That’s life. It’s true that in our self-help obsessed society feeling like shit is somewhat unconprehensible. Because I suppose erm la vie est belle? Hardly, yet people are desperately trying to hold on to the idea of ALL FINE when they are tearing apart on the inside.

I like emotional people (with an exception of drunken sobbing in the corner after a night out) because they seem to be in touch with their surroundings more than anyone else. Emotions are a product of feelings and feelings are the product of thoughts so by controlling our emotions we try to control our thoughts which is let’s be fair, impossible. So if you think what you think, but emotionally you try to suppress how you feel, you are digging yourself a hole. And when you finally fall in it, it will be ugly.

I don’t know why people choose this dysfunctional virtue, perhaps because we always try to be someone we are not. Bad news. Everyone else is taken.



I’m fine thanks

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